Real Conversion

Reflection for the Third Sunday in Ordinary Time by Fr. Earl Valdez

Jesus calls the First Disciples | Photo from St. Herman of Alaska Orthodox Church

Magbagong buhay ka na. We often hear this when other people, especially those whom we know, tell us to change our ways for our own good. Having heard this many times (and having said it myself to others and to myself), its urgency can be expressed from the mere tone with which it was said, from a friendly advice disguised in humor, to a stern warning which tells us that not changing will do us harm. However, in whatever manner of saying, the message is clear and rather poetic: it’s not just changing one or two things about us. It demands a reorientation of our lives, from our reactions to certain things all the way to the habits and actions that have become part of our lives. 

Thus, when I read and reflected on the gospel reading for today, I think about the degree of seriousness and immediacy of the Lord’s address to repent, all for one reason: the Kingdom of God is coming. But as we all know, it was anything but condemnatory. For us Christians who know what this Kingdom is, one where love, mercy, and understanding reigns over all, then what is the Lord’s urgency behind it? Why do we have to prepare for something which in fact leads us to change our lives? Bakit kailangan pa? 

Caravaggio, “The Conversion of St. Paul” | Photo from EWTN

And I think that’s what hit me. One does not just accept mercy, forgiveness, and love easily. There are people who cannot seem to get over their greatest mistakes in life, that they cannot forgive themselves for it. There are those who, after having seen the great power of love and understanding, do not even know how to accept being loved, much less loving in return. There are even those who think that life has become very unfruitful and overbearing, even if there is the invitation to opportunities that lead to greater purpose. These are the people who cannot see the Kingdom of God dawning upon them, so there is a need to convert, to turn our lives and become open to real change. 

This was exactly what happened to the first four disciples. They were already fishermen, and at that time, this provided food to the table and housing for their families. And yet, the Lord called them to live more fruitful lives as His followers, to walk the difficult path to a more meaningful life, although one could not say that their old lives were unfruitful. The only thing that they did was to answer the call to this change, to leave their nets and follow the Lord, this time to be “fishers of men.” 

Stock Photo from Vecteezy

Perhaps this was the true call for us, to be more open to greater possibilities by confronting those which hinder us from doing so. It may come in the form of insecurities, a sense of unworthiness, a traumatic past, or even a resistance to change. Those are the things that we have to come to terms with, and bring ourselves to true repentance, which definitely means more than just asking for forgiveness and promising to do better. Instead, it is leading ourselves to new possibilities in life that we haven’t even thought about.

We hope, therefore, that this is something that the Eucharist enables us to have and work towards, trusting in the Lord’s grace that we belong to the Kingdom of God, first by receiving his unconditional love and mercy, which transforms the way we see our lives and the love that we are called to have. In receiving Christ, we look back to those that hinder us from going, and with much hope and trust in the Lord, we gain the strength to leave our own nets and follow the Lord with a sense of immediacy and excitement.