Humility and Gratitude

by Fr Earl Allyson Valdez

Reflection  for the Twenty-Second Sunday in Ordinary Time

Sirach 3:17-18, 20, 28-29 | Psalm 68 | Hebrew 12:18-19, 22-24 | Luke 14:7-14

What we understand as humility can come as a virtue or a vice. On one hand, there is real humility in which we actually accept our talents, achievements, and recognitions as they are, without actually flaunting them or making them too evident for people to see. However, on the other hand, there is what we call “humble-bragging,” in which we refuse the recognition and praise for others, just for us to receive more than what we actually receive. 

More often than not, we do not recognize and distinguish between the two, and especially in a culture in which deference is often seen as a virtue, we make it seem like we refuse and negate the recognition of others. We do it not because we really want to become humble, but we want to appear humble. 

Our Lord sees through and distinguishes these two kinds of humility in the parable of the guests. He sees that there are those who only appear to be humble, and immediately pounce on the opportunity to be recognized when they assume the most important position. Unfortunately, he says, when it comes to the Kingdom, they will relegated to the least important positions. However, those who are truly humble, the ones who recognize that it is up to the host to place them in prominent positions in the banquet, would only stay in a position that is suitable for them as guests, until the host calls them to be transferred. 

But as we shall see in this parable, the virtue of humility is connected to the virtue of gratitude. In fact, Our Lord sees that what distinguishes true and false humility is the recognition that who one is and what one has are given by the Lord, and that we have no right to claim it as totally ours. Thus, one cannot absolutely own it and attribute it to oneself, because everything, as the truly humble ones believe, is merely grace that is given by the Lord. 

And in this light, we see the sense in which the Lord continues the parable: the truly humble, that is, the truly grateful, are the ones who extend their feasts to those who normally do not get the invitations: the blind, the lame, the crippled, and all the rest who were shunned by a society that measures achievements as if they were done out of our own efforts alone. It is only the grateful, and thus the humble, who can see that they too deserve to enjoy what is given to us. 

We Filipinos have a perfect way of understanding this gratitude that leads to humility: utang na loob. This term has been used and abused in the world of politics and business as a kind of tit-for-tat, a favor that demands another favor. However, the true spirit of utang na loob is not that. 

Rather, it looks first at the absolute gratuity of God, one who gave everything and asked for nothing back except to give what one has to those in need. In the end, inasmuch that no return is expected, one also recognizes that nothing is deserved and merited. 

Utang na loob, literally, is a debt that cannot be paid, and nor is it a debt that demands to be placed on scales. It is something that is ultimately owed to the First and Highest Giver, who asks that we live with a gratitude that deserves the right kind of humility. 

In this regard, what kind of humility do we have? Is it the one who subtly insists on one’s own prominence and position, as if they were justly merited? Or is it the one that truly recognizes that everything is grace, and that one can only give?