Equally Loved, Differently Blessed

by Fr. Jason Laguerta

Today’s Gospel spoke directly to me; it hits very close to home, literally, as there are many times in my life, there are many occasions that I say to myself, “Why, Lord?  Why is it like that.. You are so unfair.”

If you are listening closely to the parable, this is what the first set of workers felt in the Gospel, and maybe in our minds, we think, indeed, they deserve to be given more.  But why were they given the same wage together with those who came very late already?  I reckon, their complaint is very much justifiable.  Why?  Because they sweat and worked the whole day under the scorching sun, while some only worked for mere an hour – but why were they all given equal amounts of wages?

Don't I deserve more?  This is exactly how I feel very often because in my ministry as a priest, I seem to have loads of work and tasks to do.  I have around five appointment letters given to me by bishops and archbishops and these are all of different tasks, which sometimes make me look at others and ask, why do they have less assignments?  I tend to get overworked and yet, I receive less, which sometimes makes me feel – I deserve more…

Don't I deserve more?  Indeed, this became really a very existential question for me, not just a parable.  To be honest, this Gospel really struck me because I have often said to myself, “God is so unfair.”  This became very personal to me, more so, and it hit me in a different manner when I lost both of my parents. 

There were many times when I felt that after working so hard for my vocation, and yet both my mother and father are taken away from me.  They both died of cancer, and, imagine, from diagnosis to death it was only a matter of weeks.  Thus, many times I felt that God had treated me unfairly, and I brought that pain to Him in prayer, trying to be vulnerable and honest, because there were moments when I wanted to tell God, “I don't deserve this.  I deserve to be treated better.  This is unfair.  Why them and not me?  Why do they receive so much while I receive so little?  After all, I am the one who worked hard.”  And those are real questions that can arise in a wounded heart.

For many of you, I know, feel the same exact way.  For you have given so much of yourself, exerted so much effort for something or for your family; you have sacrificed so much, yet it feels as though you have received so little in return.  And worse, after you have endured so much and received something painfully little, others, who are undeserving, receive massively a lot more!

The Gospel's message is not easy to accept, and the Lord challenges us with a more profound question: Do you really deserve what you think you deserve, or have you forgotten that everything is ultimately a gift of grace?  Or if we can rephrase the question: has the Lord really been unfair (to you)?

Isaiah tells us in the First Reading: you can never fathom the ways and the mind of God.  His ways are different from your ways. His thoughts are different from your thoughts.  So therefore, if sometimes we accuse God of being unfair, or of shortchanging us, then we better think again.  Because the truth of the matter is, God is generous and kind to all.  Maybe not the same, but He loves us equally as children, though differently.  God has different ways of showing His love and mercy and He has Hus uniquely different ways of showering His graces upon each one of us.

So, to go back to my own life story, time and again, whenever I feel that God is some sort of being unfair to me, I turn to Mama Mary.  Not that I am comparing my relationship with God or the Blessed Mother, but time and again, every time I have questions about my faith, I turn to the Blessed Mother, and I often tell her, “Bakit ganun naman ang Anak mo na yan?”  That is the kind of relationship I have with Mama Mary, that sometimes I go to her and pour out my heart, saying, “Mother, why is your Son treating me this way?”

And, again and again, when you turn to the Blessed Mother, she will comfort you, console you, and she will tell you: “My Son is like that, but He loves you just the same.”  Thus, if sometimes in your life you do not understand the ways of God, turn to the Blessed Mother because she is like us.  We are not replacing God, but every time we turn to the Blessed Mother, we are turning to a person, like us, who suffered also a lot of injustice in her life.  For if there is someone who can accuse God of being unfair, it would be Mary, because she carried so many burdens and she faced so many sorrows in her life, and yet, in spite of all those, her commitment and fidelity to her Son never waned.  She remained with Him; she stood by the cross, never leaving Him.

In other words, in our life, many times, we will really ask God: “Why is it like that, Lord?”  And when those moments come, turn to Mama Mary because she understands our situation.  She understands our disappointments.  She understands our own suffering because she, herself, had her own sorrows to deal with in her life and in her relationship with Jesus.

Today, let us pray for more courage, for more openness and humility to understand that God's ways are not our ways.  If you feel that the Lord is not giving you what you deserve, if you wonder why He seems to be giving to others what should have been yours, or why what they have appears better than what you have, then you are not alone.  There are moments when we ask, “Why do they get more than I do?  Why them and not me?” But the Lord tells us today: stop comparing yourself to others; stop comparing your blessings with theirs for there is no use in doing that, because again and again it will only leave you disappointed and miserable.

Instead, look at what has been given to you.  The more you compare what you have with what others have, the less joy and gratitude you will find in your life.  The grass on the other side of the fence is not always greener or better.  You have your own blessings, as well, so be grateful for what you have.  And if some things were not given to you, perhaps they were not meant to be yours.  Thus, if they were given, receive them with gratitude; if not, accept that, too, with trust.  In the midst of it all, be thankful both for what you have and for what you do not have, and when others receive blessings, be grateful for them, as well, because those blessings are meant for them, while God has prepared something different for you.  Then again, the Lord loves us equally, but differently.