by Kat Galdo Diaz
There is always a road to take, and often times we choose the shorter path to make our journey easier and faster. But then we still encounter road blocks, closures, traffic jams to name a few. Having this in mind, I can’t help but compare it with how we deal with our own lives. We are usually in a rush for everything, in a rush to go from one place to another, in a rush to finish a task or in a rush to be that “someone” in the society. And to be able to do so, we tend to be competitive or goal-oriented people and our values has taken a back. I was alarmed thinking that I might be actually being like this, at the expense of my values – and I don’t want that to happen. I felt something has to be done.
I had this rejuvenating experience recently, for the first time, I was able to spend quality time with myself. This was brought about all that had happened in the past months or so. I just felt the need to just sit, relax, breath and entirely talk to God. I wasn’t sure what to do exactly, but my mind and soul is just screaming to be in the moment and feel what nature has to say, so not long after I was able to do my prayers and reflect. Then came the outpouring of my inconvenient truths. I was set to literally rant with how things are going, but God spoke with these words: “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.” (Luke 14:11)
So I was like, okay. I was wrong what do I have to do then? — TO CHANGE MY PERSPECTIVE. I was ranting because of the people around me, maybe because they do not meet “my standard” of how life is. Perhaps, I look highly of myself and cared less of others just when I thought I was doing fine. But actually, we need not to think highly of ourselves as if we are always right and never wrong, as if we are in power to do whatever, or that we are the best. Because the more we do so, the more we turn away from God. What is really essential is to remain humble and with all humility thank God because we can do everything. Because only Him has the power to do everything. The more we think that it is our doing and not His, the more chances that we are bound to fail sooner or later. With this realization, I was reminded that I can do nothing without God. He is the source and the reason of what we think is our power. And by staying humble and acknowledging that it is His doing all the more we can move freely and with confidence.
Doubt is unescapable. Just like any road block, doubt stops us to think purely and paralyzes our thoughts with all uncertainties. That was a growing feeling inside me, I was doubting myself on what I can do, how far can I go, or the too many what ifs lingering on my mind every time I take on a new challenge. Also, there is doubt with the people around me, there are moments that I cannot put myself to believe with what I hear and see, in things that has caused brokenness. Creating doubt is easy, we only see the floss, the mistakes, the past. but it can never fix anything it only creates beasts that we cannot manage. Doubting caused me my sanity, and it grew bigger and bigger that I can no longer think straight, and so by praying for guidance I was able to let go and acknowledge my other inconvenient truth: that I was too pre-occupied to think of what lies ahead. This mentality is never healthy, what is best is when we seek guidance rather than overthink. Trust that God is in control, and that with Him whatever happens will always be the best – for ourselves and for the people around us.
“Have you come to believe because you have seen me?” (John 20:29) Just as this verse say, have we come to believe only because we have seen? Do we need to see the difference or the changes first before we believe? If so, then how come we believe in God even we don’t really see Him? Feeling. It is by feeling that we believe, we feel His love, his care and guidance even if we don’t see Him physically. We see Him in our family and friends. Just like how we believe that God is alive and is within us, same goes when we doubt ourselves or others. We first have to feel. Try to feel your heart’s desire if at one point you doubt yourself. We often times overlook our successes because we get ahead of ourselves and loose our self-appreciation. Or we doubt others because we don’t see much of their actions, people don’t need to please everyone. We don’t need to act, speak, think according to the standards of others. Just like doubting Thomas, he was not able to believe first that Jesus has risen until he saw the wounds in his palm. “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” <John 20:25>
Wounds. Honestly, when I get hurt I tend to act rude, say things I never meant because I want others to feel that I am hurt. I cared less with how they will feel I only want them to see that I am wounded and hurting. Low and behold, we all hurt, and sometimes we only think of our own wounds, but did we ever care about others’ wound as we heal our own? We tend to forget and be more compassionate with others, because we care more for ourselves. Just like the saying, it takes two to tango; same when we hurt people – We both hurt. And no, hurting others does not give any satisfaction because truth is when we hurt others, we hurt more. Those hurting causes our wounds, and assuming we still have that goodness deep down, the best way to tend to our own wounds is also to help others heal their own. Understand them more and be compassionate. This may be tough, but of course we need to keep on trying to do the right thing and eventually heal everyone. It takes a lot of time and effort, but taking the first step is always necessary.
My inconvenient truths led me to this: ACCEPTANCE AND TO MOVE ON. It is hard to accept my own mistakes, my own doubts and fears, and that I have my wound and others’ have wounds too. We usually turn to the easiest way in dealing with life – to look happy and make ourselves believe that everything is fine. But in order to live a much happier life, we need to move-on the right way – to pick up the pieces again and change our direction – the road may be long, winding and bumpy, but if we drive-along with it with hearts full of trust, hope and love, we will arrive at our destination with hearts full and much more accomplished than we ever thought.